I received this hilarious forward from my friend. Sorry guys, its all true!
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL MEN WELCOME.
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days. Topics covered in this course include:
DAY ONE:
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with a slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS – DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper ( pictures & graphics )
DISHES & SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among panel of experts
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting “It’s not there!" “You’ve moved it!” or “We’ve run out!” - Open forum.
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS: DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
Powerpoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT: LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available.
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2 comments:
good one..couldnt stop laughing!! I hope my husband reads this!!
Until I find an appropriate rebuke.....here goes.....
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that
it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications.
He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which
are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular
phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though
other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature
of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is
always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other
system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight
10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the
system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always
worked fine before).
At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of
undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release.
Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
The features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 include:
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with
the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and
other systemresources.
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would
allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by
sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0.
You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long
standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of
Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they
would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, the uninstall
program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces
of the application in the system.
Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up
little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
BUG WARNING
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before
uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the
uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming
insufficient resources.
BUG WORK-AROUNDS
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system
and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also,
beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry
viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under
an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally
be downloaded from the UseNet.
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